Press for our Double D BBB+BBB SGLMG show!

http://www.au.timeout.com/sydney/clubs/events/29513/boom-boom-broads-and-burlesque-bad-boys -  time off magazine

and…

 

https://www.facebook.com/#!/photo.php? id=10150639013716772&set=at.446262271771.221874.612886771.641991745&type=1&theater  and a wonderful article in Scene

hmmm and perhaps Sydney Star Observer… keep your eyes peeled!

and a reminder that we are happy to reserve spots for our friends.

meanwhile, we just found out that Asha does Roller Derby. Her sexymeter just soared! - pic by Kellie LaFranchi

Early bird table reservations for Boom Boom Broads and Bad Boys Burlesque ?

Hello lovers,

We decided to not have pre-sale tickets for our show because it complicated things a little as we are doing two separate shows on the double feature bill. But we would love to have an idea of who is coming along on the night for one or two shows or two shows over two nights. This will help us make sure that no one is turned away.

Everyone is really excited and we are having a helleva response. It’s a little unfair… but as they say, “all’s fair in love and war”  that we are offering an opportunity to our blog followers to reserve a seat or table for the show(s). And while I have not managed to do a blog yet on the lineup of the Boy’s show, I would love for Boom Boom Broad fans to sample the sights of the boy lineup as these fellows are our trusty colleagues around the scene and we love and adore them for their incredible talents. (it’s all Rita can do to keep her hands off a few of them)

So if you are coming along and would like to reserve a seat or table ( no there’s no added fee, don’t be ridiculous!) ,

Send your email to our admin slave:  wilkins.lindsay@gmail.com or reply to this post and we will endeavor to fit you in. if you are familiar with the Supper Club and have a favorite spot, let us know. We love to put out for our regulars.

xox Johnny.

 

 

 

BOOM BOOM BROADS – Johnny has kept his promise

For this year’s program Sydney Gay and Lesbian Mardi Gras put a callout for more body conscious and diversity celebrating shows. In response, as Rita I have pushed aside all opportunities to bill myself  and am investing my time into promoting the talents my curvier comrades as my princely persona Johnny Castrati: The World’s Greatest Lover. And Johnny, being a man of great consequence has found himself undeniably in love with the burly and Cabaret’s most curvaceous Cupids : Asha Zappa, Cherry Lush, LaLa Gabor and has begged with all his love  for the interstate arrival of Miss Alyssa Kitt.  This is not a regular Revue or Cabaret. This is a love affair of great proportions between Johnny, the ladies, a cello, balloons, some garbage bags and most importantly the audience. Don’t be shy. We aren’t.

Remember this blog?

Big Girls Blouse Blowouts http://ritafontaine.wordpress.com/2011/06/16/big-girls-blouse-blowouts/

I had been travelling around Oz doing shows since winning MBA10 and having seen so much incredible talent from some of our more Bucksome Burlesquers, I was left bewildered to hear a common thread from these girls’ yarns of exclusion from corporate or higher billing shows due to their size not their levels of talent.

A second disappointment I have often felt is that many Burlesque MC’s seem to forget that they are on stage to introduce the performers in a manner that honours both our talents and our time. Another local MC once introduced a lady as “the next girl to shake her vagina is…..”    This has me asking the question: Why is the MC the only boob on stage not backed up by talent or preparation?  Do they understand or even care that this is more to us than shaking our organs, glands and fatty deposits?

I felt the call of duty, now that many are following my blog and my characters, to put talented physical minorities in a show where they are doted on by MC Johnny Castrati, they way they ought to be. Frankly,  if folks wanted to see an artist slandered for his or her bravely then they’d watch a reality show at no expense on the couch. Instead they hit Oxford Street and buy a ticket for a night out. Punters want to celebrate the diversity they cannot find at home from the settee. They want to see sexiness in all shapes and sizes, otherwise they would simply buy a fashion magazine or a gossip column and read it on the toilet. Well folks here’s what you’ve wandered beyond the threshold for. Be it for Boom Boom Broads with little drag humour from yours truly or Burlesque Bad Boys ( our brother show).. you’ve got it!

And this is no regular revue of an MC introducing act after act after act. Johnny Castrati has decided to romance only four ladies at a time, allowing this select few more opportunity to exhibit all of their assets, physically , sensually, musically and theatrically.  The girls have been given a free reign in performing solo , with Johnny or with the audience and are not limited to the five minute burly strip. The following lovelies will produce a myriad of skills and attributes, both Burlesque and Cabaret on two nights as part of a double feature deal during the Mardi Gras schedule.

Let me explain the double feature deal. 15^th Feb, the girls show starts at 7pm. Then the boys are on at 10pm.  You may buy a ticket for one show at $20 or stick around for the second at $30 for both. Then on the 18^th the boys are first at 7pm and the girls at 10pm. You can see one or both that night too. But… if you prefer, you may see one on one night and the other on the other night. Make sense?

Introducing our flagship broads;

Miss Alyssa Kitt, our special interstate request..

The Queen of the Curves, Miss Alyssa Kitt has been mooching around Australia with her signature over-the- top charm and sexed up size 16 glamour, making her mark as Australia’s premier plus-sized Burlesque performer. She has performed alongside and worked with some of  theworld’s foremost burlesque performers such as Dirty Martini, Catherine D’lish,Tigger!, Melody Mangler, Imogen Kelly, Captain Kidd and Lola the Vamp just toname a few. From Australia’s biggest theatrical stages to mud soaked festivals and every glamorous place in-between, Alyssa has her heart set on changing theworld’s perception of beauty, one bump at a time.

“She intrinsically gets burlesque, just like I did when I started out” Dirty Martini.

“Fierce, Glamorous, Bawdy and Sensual” Burlesqueperformer, Bella de Jac.

“One to Watch” Burlesque Magazine.

Miss Kitt  has agreed to spread her legs for the hum of Johnny’s cello and is our special guest interstate import. She’s a girl that keeps being brought down from sunny Queensland to brighten our revues and was a special guest at the last Miss Burlesque Australia finals.

photo: Kahlia Litzow Makeup/Hair: Josleen Hawas

Cherry Lush

This heart-shaped hussy has men and women drooling with love for her sassy struts. I once sat at The Supper Club for a show of hers and the guy next to me smirked out a rude ‘here we go‘ when she came on, noting her size. The same guy had to pick his jaw off the floor when she left the scene. Take that you unbeliever! You are converted now. She didn’t win the title of ‘Miss VaVaVoom’ in the NSW Pinup Competition for nothing! Cherry is a funny broad and her hips say it all, but it’s her eyes that do most of the talking. She’s got that real ssssmokin’ Betty Page look in her eyes! But imagine Betty forgot Jesus, grew bigger bosoms and got a little meaner! Cherry has been working the Sydney scene, flaunting her work at 34B , Gallery Burlesque , The Peel and the  Australian Burlesque Festival. She’s a regular local burly star now and is gearing up a fusion of Burlesque and Cabaret for this show after a recent boot camp cabaret course at NIDA. Cherry’s got new tricks up in her garter and big plans in mind.

Cherry has blogged the show also at:

http://cherrylush.com.au/2012/01/16/boom-boom-broads/

pic; Onur Ka

LaLa Gabor

Ms Gabor’s visual style is a flush and fancy cocktail of Divine via John Waters muddled with Diana Ross and the Supremes. He shows are witty, colourful and funny. There’ll be a taste of the classic tease, and a fiery duel when she takes the role of the Princess Bride’s Inego Montoya, challenging JC !  “As you wish”, submits Johnny in a knockout. “sleep well my friend” retorts Inego/Lala, “and dream of large women”.  LaLa is busting into the conventional burly scenes but is an avid underground artist.  She’s often involved with Pretty Peepers at The Imperial. LaLa Gabor is overt and over-the-top but refined in her ways; A true diva. Johnny can’t wait.

pic: Dirty Queer Magazine

Asha Zappa

Asha Tackles body fascism and prejudices toward size head on by often depicting herself as disgusting before retribution as the performance in itself is the reversal of that.  She’s loads and aims her guns to hit right between the eyes with a message of what the larger body is in weight, size, depth and operatic vocals. Asha will strip the bandages of ignorance off us sometimes with care and sometimes with a rip like a bandaid. Don’t fret lovers. If Ms Zappa doesn’t kiss it better, Johnny will.

Comrades In Charms

A deliberation on competing for and winning Miss Burlesque Australia

(wordpress is being difficult again, pls excuse weird formatting)

Due to multiple requests from all sides, I’m finally blogging my gains and experiences as a result of taking part in the Miss Burlesque Australia competition in 2010.

It’s been a year and two months since one of the most thrilling moments of my life. This is an interesting time for me to turn around and look back my journey since being crowned. There is so much to review so I have done so in little chapters.

My Classic: Down In Mexico

The Heats

The state heats were nerve wrecking for me. Before doors opened contestants pulled numbers from a hat. I pulled number one. A couple of girls gave me their condolences but I was pleased. This meant I could start the night by setting the standard. Wake’em up mean Rita style! For my Classic I had re-vamped and old favourite ‘Down in Mexico” which is a hot go-go shimmy fest, something I knew other girls were less likely to commit to. Shimmying is tougher than it looks.  I slammed it.   Next I followed up the Neo section with my Julia Gillard pre-election show which was very current in the media. This show won me a great deal of media coverage after the night and saw me slide right into the third round with Venus Vamp, Danica Lee and Briana Bluebell.  Thirdly I exhibited my new skill of boxing. I figured no other girl would do this. I had an all out no-holds- barred, real punch up with Drag King of Queensland Tricky. The crowd went wild. Especially when some hits really connected with my face.  Alas to my detriment, I had quenched my nerves that night with a few too many champagnes. And in one sloppy move I knocked over my set, lost character and froze for a second. I brought it back and finished the fight. I won the crowd but I lost points to Dutch courage against Danica and Briana whose shows were constant in quality and energy and sober.
As those of us who didn’t place shied away to the dressing room to pack up our belongings, Cassandra Jane peeked in saying “It’s not over girls, there still a Wildcard”.  I spent the next few weeks with my fingers crossed so damn tight I could have created diamonds had there been coal under my nails! A few weeks later, after the Perth heat the phone rang. It was Jac Bowie. We had a short conversation; she, telling me I was wildcard based on the strengths of my political satire, that it would bring something totally different to the finals. I thanked her calmly and said “I have to go now… I need to run around the living room naked, screaming… talk later. Bye”     and then I did just that.  Yes… I am usually naked when at home.

Julia seduces Kevin

Now I was going to have to update the Julia Gillard piece. I had to bring in Tony Abbott and rehearse two endings because the election was right before the finals and would leave little time to sharpen the outcome. Who would win? Tony or Julia?  And despite close friends suggesting I work the Classic act which had served me well, I had a new character up my sleeve. : Something unexpected which could cost me everything.

The Big One

I arrived early to claim a corner of the Enmore theatre’s rabbit warren dressing room. I set up my props and pushed my backup- humans to the side and told them “Stay”. As the other competitors filled the rooms I watched them roll out sets of makeup brushes, open wheeled in kits of eye shadows and lipsticks. Some even had hair and makeup artists in tow. I unzipped my pencil case and placed out: a lipstick, a foundation, eyeliner, blusher, two eyelashes, two colours and a brown pencil for my beard. No brushes. I’m a finger painter.

The doors opened, the show began and the crowd roared. Their sound was phenomenal. The MC began the proceedings and we started with the Gown pageant. I had griped in my preparations about the need for this pageant but once I’d settled on my non-Rita acts I needed this part to show her vampish character. While other ladies walked out and gave a wink and a pinup pose, I stepped onto stage, gave them a nasty Mean Ms Fontaine scowl and made them watch me saunter away to the back of the stage swaying my ass. I turned, and strode up the centre as though I’d already won, arms high like a diva and smiled broadly. They loved it! Being the only girl without a tiara thus far, I parted my skirt revealing a gartered cheesy plastic happy birthday tiara from a two dollar shop. I put it on my head and mouthed meanly “Happy birthday baby”, making a Burlesque of the competition.

Faux nude cheek.

Next, the now eliminated lingerie category had lovely ladies posing cheesecake style one after another. That’s not my style. I wore a nude corset, bra and panties with colourful garnishes of silk pearls and crystals to keep my modesty – cheekily appearing almost nude except for a multicoloured sequin hat which I tipped to the punters.

Next was Julia Gillard. Julia won the election. Would she win Miss Burlesque Australia too? My team were not performers. Nervous as ever they thanked their stars I made them wear paper plate faces to hide their terror. They served me well and after Tony’s threat and pash with Julia and then the Wicked Witch of the West delivering the Green vote swinging the vote we made it through to the flash dance ending without a hitch.

Now was the leap of faith. For the finals I had pulled one of the last numbers out of the hat for order of appearance. The audience was tiring and the show was running overtime. Rita Fontaine was reintroduced. But she never showed. Her cousin Johnny Castrati came to the stage and apologised profusely that his mean cousin had left the building and that if they would like him to he would take her place. The crowd were intrigued, for not only was this a new character but also the first burlesquer to break the sound barrier and simply speak to them. He then went into a song whilst playing the pink toy piano before stating “now I know you didn’t pay $80 a ticket to see a man sing. Do you want to see me burlesque?”  Oh the thunderous noise!

JC’s trusty velvet gimp took over the piano and a baroque version of Mambo No.5 blared out and JC revealed his velvets, tassel and his crystal jockstrap with codpiece before declaring his undying love!

Johhny's debut

There was a quick change for the group dance and back into the red velvet dress for the award ceremony. I was dog tired and my reapplied Rita face was a little dishevelled. Each lady was called back to the stage in order of appearance. Every girl now wore her state heat sash and crown. My sense of humour had me sneak my plastic crown for a laugh. (A very nervous laugh)  More sashes were handed out. Each announcement hit me like lightening when another girl got it. Then third place tiara went to Danica Lee and I nearly lost my legs. Second to Briana Bluebell and my heart sank. I felt ill. I was the only person on stage with no sash, no title and no tiara. Could I win? I tried with all my might to keep a gracious smile but wanted to cry. Cass held up the enormous tiara and final sash. Jac asked through the microphone “who wants to know who the winner is?”
If you view the footage you’ll see every girl nod their head and I subtly shake mine.

Longest two seconds of my life.

“Rita Fontaine”. 

I don’t remember the rest.

UBER Beauty Queen Moment!

My Year

As the first Miss B.A this was new territory for me and for the BIJOU Group. There was an expectation of being whisked up by ‘management’ and put through an obstacle course of planned gigs, appearances, writing blogs and posts underpinned by promotion. Indeed this was not the outcome. These were unchartered waters and I was allowed to set sail for most of them alone. As a Wildcard in the grand final and a wildcard by nature this suited me just fine.

The last quarter of 2010 my title grabbed me a bunch of headlining bills. Then I capped it off with a VIP gig in Newcastle on New Years and a sunrise skinny- dip in the ocean to give thanks. I took a little break in sleepy January- Feb and then kicked off my work year of 2011 co-producing a show at Adelaide Fringe with Miss SA; Flavella L’Amour named A Doll’s House. WE SOLD OUT.

Meanwhile… Baby Blue Bergman and I went to DJ’s at Christmas and sat on Santa’s lap. He asked her afterward if that was Rita Fontaine, Miss B.A who was just on his knee. (*giggle*) Santa watches Burlesque too.

I think I have caught over 30 planes this year. I have flown around Australia almost three times. In April I collected on my prize of flying to Paris for spring to see the best shows in the world: the Moulin Rouge, The Lido and the Crazy Horse. This had an incredible affect on me and my sense of showomanship. Friends may have noticed my costumes becoming richer and more flamboyant since this time. Wait til you see my latest Gulia Jillard costume and extended works – Shazam!
Highlights:

My face shows my neck pain. "take one Sina, they are really heavy!"

• Royal Lucha with Azure Entertainment, Perth
• 34B 5^th Birthday
• Adelaide Fringe and Cabaret
• More Ruby Revues
• A heap of MC and queer shows as Johnny and Rita
• A lot of fancy Corporate gigs
• Hosting The Ruby Revue double show feat. Dirty Martini as Johnny.
• The Burlesque Ball 2011
• Crowning Sina King and final show as MBA

Another interesting thing, now that I look back, is how I have swung so far into each corner of the burlesque paradigm. The competition forced me to further research, analyse and understand the meaning of Classic and Neo and tune my unique abilities. This refined the character of Rita Fontaine, released Johnny Castrati from the cupboard and created Gulia Jillard. JC and Rita each have a career and Gulia is coming up the rear with new extended works as requested by Woodford Folk Festival this holiday season.

Since crowning 2011 winner; Sina King, things haven’t changed.  I am certainly grateful for the opportunities the BIJOU Group have given me to perform on some grand stages in front of a lot of people. The choices I have made on the grounds of taking home The Big Tiara are at times more subversive than expected. Future MBA’s will shape their titled path according to their personal career goals. My decisions have been made with a great deal of pride in winning. There is method to my madness. You’ll see.

Competition is not everyone’s cup of tea. As a feminist I am queried at times about the validity of pageantry and striptease in my ideals. I stand firm in the belief that it brings out the best in some women and the worst in others. From everyone I competed with I saw it bring camaraderie and community. Pageantry based on physicality really is a sexist and demeaning affair especially when it involves children. But as an adult, to have competed in a competition in which I was challenged to be everything that I possibly can be as a performance artist, it was strengthening. To  do so with pride of my sex appeal and full use of  my own magic, (a hell of a lot more thought than a wink and a slap on the ass)…was, well….. It was exhilarating as a pagan. To many in the performance art scene, it was a warming shock to see the skills every woman offered up on stage and then a win on the strengths of political satire and a follow-up as a Drag King. Sina King’s 2011 win as a new face was a close call next to veterans Kelly Doll and Strawberry Siren. Her win scraped past on the strengths of acute art direction. Every visual element had it’s place. Her quickchanges, magic and storylines were tighter than an S-bend corset and her Lucile Ball humor cherried  atop the perfection of her costuming.

Now we await the third Miss B A and the  inaugural Mr Burlesque Australia. In all fairness I feel that men face the same if not worse social blocks as women do in the area of public sexual expression. I am really looking forward to this show. It will give our beloved boylesque colleagues access to the mainstream market and hey… It will give us girls weeks of wet knickers.

My advice to contestants M or F:

1. It will be whatever you make of it. For better or worse.
2. The rules are designed not to hinder your creativity but to expand your theatre skills. – remember I ticked the boxes even in Drag.
3. Love strippers. They work harder than we do, are better at dancing and in bigger shoes. But remember to define your shows as Burlesque.
4. Leave them wanting more.
5. Do not always make your pasties or your Junk your punch line. – Not to say you shouldn’t show them but don’t rely on them for the big ending. Try an awesome dance move or theatrical twist!
6. Don’t watch the movie Burlesque. There is no Burlesque in it. (Unless you take the piss… that would be awesome.)
7. Smile. You love it you minx and we love you loving it. Let’s not pretend
8. Keep your big ideas a secret. Even close confidants don’t often understand your vision and may talk you out of an original and brilliant idea because they love you and fear for you.
9. Play nice. It’s good for business.
10. If someone has a diva moment. Forgive them, they are scared too. They don’t mean it.
11. If you have other humans in your act, make sure they are clearly human props and do not upstage or distract from you.
12. Dutch courage honey? You are better than that. One drink only.
13. Play as many characters as you like… but from each persona remember to still show us YOU.

Xox Rita.

Rita Fontaine Probes the Naked Planker.

 

Do you recognise this man? 

Of course you don’t. He’s got his clothes on.

Think back about seven months. Aussie and World media was all abuzz with accounts of artistic expression, office amuzement, sheer stupidity and even accidental deaths.

All in the name of the internet craze of Planking.

One man stood alone or should I say planked alone in the light of  artistic appraisal when he stripped off his garb, plonked into the Perth Swan River and planked his naked body across the arms of iconic Perth statue Eliza.  Eliza does not depict an actual person in history, but she commemorates the generations of children who learnt to swim from 1914-1964 at the local Crawley Baths and is quite the lady of fashion.

“In her short life, Eliza has become a cultural phenomenon in Perth…She should be a regular on Perth’s best dressed lists”  -  720 report, ABC Perth.

Why best dressed?  Well, Standing a few meters from the jetty wall, above chest deep water, Eliza is easy to get your hands on and therefore is often adorned by locals to suit the themes and tends of current affairs. She sported a surgical mask during the swine flue outbreak. She held a bike in her arms for the tour De France. She wears hats on race day and she gets into the Christmas spirit this time of year wearing tinsel. With the Planking craze up in the air last May Simon Carville,  the Carville Cassanova felt it befitting to adorn the lady with the fashions of his friendly form. I had the pleasure of making his aquaintance in the aftermath of the Perth show of the Burlesque Ball…..

Mister Caville, what a naughty stunt to pull in public. Was there a great cause, or were you just planking for a spanking?

If I’d known a spanking was on offer, I would have done it long ago! To say there was a cause may be an overstatement; but there was definitely a reason – it was shortly after a 20 year old guy from Brisbane had plummeted to his demise from a seventh-storey Brisbane balcony, and I wanted to show that planking could be taken to the extreme, without necessarily involving the element of danger.

What was the online repsonse? How did this picture go viral in the first place?

The online response was huge! The picture itself was originally meant to be seen and shared by just my friends; and when I saw them at a party that night, I was something of a celebrity then – but the internet did its thing under the cover of darkness, and by morning I had missed calls from The Sunday Times asking if they could run my picture, run my name, and get a quote from me. I had unfortunately missed my chance by that stage, and the image ran alongside a mostly unrelated article unfortunately headlined “Planker Outrage – RSL condemns stunt at monument” which was about a planned mass plank at a war memorial. However, the fact that I appeared to be upsetting the RSL with it only added to the amount of people sharing the image, and by the time the story hit internet news, thousands of people were sharing it to their Facebook pages, twitter feeds, and tumblr blogs.

Some of this media slogans the story with “Naked Planker turns himself in”.  who did you turn yourself in to? Were you charged?   

 I guess I could say that ‘I turned myself in’ when I returned the phone call to The Sunday Times and said ‘yes, run my name and use my photo’. I also heard a discussion about the plank during a morning show on Perth radio station Nova 93.7, and called up and put my hand up as being the man in question, which excited the girl on the phone to no end! (recorded segment can be listened to here: http://dl.dropbox.com/u/7719061/Planking_Nova.mp3). To date, I’ve had no entanglements with the law in regards to the stunt itself, which is fortunate; but would only have added to my notoriety!

Media coverage put your motives for the stunt merely down to “something for the ladies”. Was this lazy, modern hype relevant at all?

It was how the reporter wanted to run the story from the very beginning. She led me with a question about whether or not the stunt would make me a ‘Perth sex symbol’, to which I merely responded that I had of received a lot of attention from my age group, which obviously included ladies; but now that everyone had seen me naked nothing was left to the imagination. The irrelevance of the angle they took on the story was initially frustrating, but I did enjoy the recognition that I received because of the character I’d been painted as, and I truly don’t believe the story would have reached as far had it been taken more seriously. That isn’t to say, of course, that I’m NOT a Perth sex symbol – but it wasn’t the statue that made me thus!

Often nudists enjoy inner peace in the simplicity of  being without the confines of clothing. Was there a moment of clarity for you in being uplifted nude by the arms of Eliza?

 I believe any chance of achieving a moment of inner peace, clarity and serenity while nuding up was probably ruined by the honking horns, ringing bicycle bells, and laughter coming from the heavy traffic on the busy road that Eliza is in full view of. Funnily enough, I have been contacted by a few individuals telling me that, on behalf of the naturist community, they were proud of me – but to be fair, I’m no naturist; I’m simply an exhibitionist.

  

The Money Shot.

As a man of such brazen behaviour how do you amuze yourself the rest of the time?

 I lead a quite extroverted life style, with a very heavy social life. Without wanting to sound like I’m quoting Pulp; I like to dance and drink and screw.

There is a famous greek myth of Pygmalion a bachelor and sculptor who’s statue of a beautiful woman come’s to life one night and they make love. What do you think might have happened had Ms Eliza come to life you in her arms and your ‘manhood’ right there in her face?

On request, Mr Carville sent a dashing shot of himself ... Metal guy in a tux? = max burlesque girl approval. stat.

 Sadly, while Pygmalion’s statue is said to be one of beauty and sensuality, Eliza, in her 1940’s swimming attire is far more practical (and far more conservatively dressed), and I imagine that she might actually be none too impressed to find that she was cradling a naked man in her arms; for the sake of a photo, no less! That said, I’m sure I’d be able to seduce her…

While us ladies do love the sight of your bare bottom shining afront a gorgeous waterfront view, we’d love to know why there is no real tan line definition in this photo?   Is this not the first time?

This is definitely not the first time I’ve gotten my kit off in public – but seeing as that is usually for quite brief moments, it doesn’t explain the lack of tan line. That is explained by the fact that my legs rarely see sun – my tailored suit pants reach all the way to the top of my Italian leather shoes!
 

I live with another Burlesque Artist known as Cherry Lush. Our dvd player is broken and we have nothing to watch while we write our blogs. Would you consider naked planking across our coffee table?

 Rita; for a drop dead gorgeous woman like yourself or Cherry, I would remove my clothes anywhere, at any time!

Arrangements will be made. Thankyou Mister Carville.

Next … Johnny Castrati interviews Miss Nude Australia.

Gimme 7 days or so.

Rhyme off all your clothes. Johnny Interview’s Poet Ember Flame

Burning for Miss Flame. photo: Anna Marcella

Ladies and Gentlemen,

I am not always one for a little locker room talk  but there is a Goddess I have the pleasure boasting some on stage Burlesque affairs who is making waves with her tongue on the Poetry circuit. Ms Ember Flame defines her originality in Burlesque by baring personal poems about her character and her motives for the freedom of undress before ofcourse peeling out her desires. Her dance styles have me coining the term Deep Disco, and she uses Moloko’s apt tunes to excercise the freedom of her striptease.
I have not seen my darling Ember in so many months. But still my lobes burn for her ear candy. This morning I found she’d done an interview for SMH Media, sidled up to another well versed poet Pam Ayres. I needed to accost Ms Flame… to hold her in my gaze once more and to ask her a few intimate questions. Johnny Castrati will not be ingnored.

Mon ch’erie,

I invited you for cocktails the other evening but you were too busy preparing for this Smh affair. What is so important about this Smh? and should I challenge him for your love?

SMH – aka the Sydney Morning Herald – had offered me the opportunity to perform a poem with the renown British poet Pam Ayres. Instead of doing a standard Q&A, SMH thought it would be more interesting to have Pam ‘head-off’ with a young Australian poet on the subject of Pam’s choosing, which was make-up. It was an amazing opportunity to team up with a poet who is so respected and experienced, especially as I am so new to performance poetry. I guess SMH wanted to see the different approaches from different generations of women, and they were also intrigued by my burlesque-poetry combination. I don’t think you need to challenge him for my love but it would be a wonderful boost to my ego if you did.

Burlesque created a window of opportunities for many artists who hadn’t access to the stage via maintream or scholarly avenues. Were you attracted to the stiptease or was this always a way for you to break out your poetry?
Oh always attracted to the striptease! I just also really like talking. Burlesque has been a way for me to unite all my passions – dancing, writing and showing off. I’m not such a visual person so I guess I use words to tell my story rather than amazing costuming (unless I recruit my friends who are talented costume-makers). I also like the idea of showing the audience a fusion of my mind, body and heart…now I just need to work on fusing them all better.

Ember Flame

Are you best seduced by actions or by words Miss Flame?

Well I can get pretty swept away by the right words, but if there’s nothing behind them then it becomes apparent very quickly. So I guess over the long-term, actions speak louder. And as you would know Johnny, true, beautiful words backed up by true, beautiful actions will make any woman drop her pants (or slip out of her sequinned g-string).

Rumour has it that you have applied to compete for the 2012 Miss Burlesque Australia title. What originalities will you bring to the competition?
Well I’ll be bringing in poetry and  spoken word but will try to do it a more innovative way.  I’ll also be taking shot at a few more things in our crazy, contemporary society that I haven’t tackled yet.

Remember when we first met my Flame? We took the Tapping the Velvet/ Unleash a Fire workshops with Vixen Noir and Glitta Supanova in early 2010. These workshops were heavy on character development but also about unleashing our true sexual selves. What experience did you gain from this workshop and how has it affected your work as a performance artist?

 I had never met a true love-god before you strutted into the room with your pink velvet pants, smouldering gaze and extravagant dandy ways. In the break we wandered to a cafe together, and you turned a young, male barrista into a besotted mess of sexual confusion. It was at that moment I fell in love.

Yes, but back to the question.  The workshops were all about helping us to tap into our inner fire/goddess/strength/vulnerability/desire…basically our true selves so that we could be more powerful and authentic as performers. I found it very confronting but it gave me the courage to open up and to keep going as a performer. I still have a lot of fear but each time I perform the fear is less, the self-sabotaging thoughts are a little quieter and the joy is greater. The course also taught me how important self-connection is. You need to channel that stuff which is uniquely you, instead of modelling or comparing yourself to other performers. And it was just such an inspirational and supportive environment, with such cool women. Afterwards I wrote a really graphic thank you email to Glitta and Vixen about my spiritual and sexual awakening.

Ember Flame as the i-Fem

What bridge has crossed you over into the Poetry circuit from Burly-Q

I went along to see the captivating Candy Royalle perform at the WordinHand, which is a monthly poetry night at the Friend in Hand pub in Glebe. On the spur of the moment I decided to join the open mike section, reciting a few poems I remembered from my performances.  I got a great response and Jack Peck, who runs the evening, invited me back to perform as a featured poet.

Assuming you will be keeping your clothes on in these circuits, will you be brining any Burlesque experience into this new arena?
I try to bring that whole saucy, tongue-in-cheek attitude and I often rhyme things with masturbation.

Who is your favorite Dandy?
Oh you Johnny! Johnny Depp would have to be a close second. 

Where can purveyors of poetry come and hear your delicate tongue lashings?
Come along to the WordinHand Open Mike night on December 6th. Inspired by fellow poet Edwina Blush, myself and Katie Jay aka Baby Blue Bergman have both written tributes to sluthood, which we’re hoping to share on the open mike. I’ll also be performing alongside Candy Royalle at the Sweetalkers night in Melbourne on January 15. I’m not exactly sure where the venue is yet but will keep people posted. Ater that I’ll be doing my familiar poetry-stripping combination in a Weimar theme for the Anything Goes Cabaret during Mardi Gras next February.

Ember and my onstage affair. Yes, I am bragging.

Here is the link for the SMH interview:

http://media.smh.com.au/system/ipad/pam-ayres-on-makeup-2782079.html

and another blog which has interviewed her:

http://glammeup.com.au/introducing-ember-flame/

next … Rita interviews the Carville Cassanova

aka “The  Naked Planker”

The Name’s Kerr, Thom Kerr….. Licensed to Thrill.

The Genius - self portrait

There’s something special about Thomas Samuel Kerr. 

As I flick through his archive of photographic work, my imagination dances from Utopia to reality to Utopia to reality. Each Story in his backlog depicts a magical Universe existing within our own. He’s making blatant examples of the magic we forget that we are a part of.

His ideas are limitless. His medium is Fashion Photography.

Thom Kerr began shooting in 2004 as part of a Collective of wannabes named Rufio Creative. I was one of these wannabes. The creative fashion scene in Brisbane was hardly industrious. There were only a couple of succesful fashion houses about. If you wanted to work in fashion, you left town. There were few mentors or or creative ‘parents’ to learn from, so we endeavoured to work it out ourselves. We likened ourselves to The Lost Boys, and figured Rufio from the movie Hook a better Icon than Peter Pan. We wanted to grow up and we wanted fabulous hair.

I was a budding Fashion Designer and already making a name for my label Hollywood Flesh. At 21 yrs, I used to take  18 yr old Thom with me to trendy boutiques like Natalie Denning and Blonde Venus and show him how to pitch a sale. Thom’s knack for talkin’ the talk quickly eclipsed mine and he started to show me a thing or two.. much to my delight and disdain. I preferred being the know-it-all.
Thom was fresh out of Uni as a Film Graduate and the team: a motley crew of Writers, Stylists and Makeup Artists with big dreams. We were unafraid and we were reckless. We managed to get our work published in local street presses, then laddered up into Lucky Magazine, our first Glossy, to Yen, Frankie and Rolling Stone. We’d write stories about each other when we could, or we’d wrangle opportunities to shoot famous people and get printed. We’d do anything to get ourselves out there. And Mister Kerr was the ever so charming ringleader.

Nobody got hurt. But we all got The Hunger. The Hunger for the smell of a freshly printed magazine which held our names down the side of a photo, an article on our latest work… or better yet… a photo of ourselves (usually me). It’s not an ego thing. It’s a milestone gainer in the fashion business; Press + press = more press and the more press you have the better your marketing strategy. I ought to fill you all in on my pre-Burlesque fashion work, but that’s a good story for another day. Let’s just say that I had a burn out and my heart craved the stage.

Today, Thom Kerr is one of Australia’s most successful Fashion Photographers, and becoming an icon in his own right. He shoots the best models. He works with the best magazines and he is also The Most Blogged about Photographer in Oz, and perhaps further afield. He’s come a long way baby.

COLAB campaign

 He has just launched a Campaign for COLAB’s Sunglasses collaboration with another Brisbane Artist who rose from the dust; Lister. Lister is a celebrated Visual Artist who began in the early 2000′s, grafittiing Brisbane’s trains. His work was so beautiful that the Qld government stopped painting over it and began paying him to paint electricity boxes on street corners. It went from there. Like Lister, Thom’s High sense of creativity was not always understood, but he stuck to his guns and is now celebrated as not only an incredible fashion photographer, but a visionary.   

and he’s only 26 years old.

Q’s

The day you decided to become a fashion photographer, you had a Film Degree but had never used a camera. What were you thinking?

During the final year of my film degree I was beginning to fall in love with fashion photography having dabbled in styling and production. I worked alongside other photographers via Rufio Creative, but felt frustrated that the final result never seemed as strong as what I had originally envisioned. Then funnily enough one day I saw a psychic who told me that I was going to end up a fashion photographer – and that my images would look strange, abstract and wonderful. That gave me the courage I needed to go and purchase a camera, and that’s how it all began…

 

As a Hyper Creative Artist, what is your process in scheming up ideas for a shoot?

To begin with I study the brand or personality that I’m shooting. I then meditate on the core creative values that I can see in terms of visual, design and philosophy. I process it for a while and strong imagery usually comes to mind.  The next step is to workshop the concepts with the client – from that point onwards, it’s like a painting. The casting, the styling, the lighting… everything needs to work in harmony and make perfect sense to the core of the concept. Detail is everything! That’s where the magic is born! 

Often creatives are celebrated in my art form (Burlesque) but assumed to not be able to commit to more Commercial tasks of work, Has this been a wall to overcome in your industry? Have you had to adhere to the rules at times?

I definitely experienced difficulty in the beginning trying to get people to trust in my creative ideas. It’s a challenge to explain an abstract idea to someone who doesn’t really have a strong ability to visualise. Also, without a strong body of work to back me up, often I was dismissed as hyper creative or too kooky. I really had to put in the hard yards and demonstrate that I knew how to make people look beautiful in a traditional context before I was given permission to experiment. 

Rules are made to be broken, but I believe that they are worth learning from and studying first. Has playing by the rules of Commercially viable photography helped you to sharpen your skills for the fun stuff?

I think commercial photography helped me gain access to the tools I needed to take my work to the next level ie: the talent, the equipment, and the creatives. Being forced to simplify taught me patience. And developing patience taught me to be present in my photo shoots. Hyper creatives (like me) tend to be obsessed with what they see in their mind’s eye and can often ignore what’s happening in front of them. As a result, the image suffers. I believe as a photographer you should examine what’s in front of you. Don’t be afraid of taking charge or changing something when it’s just not working. Recognising what looks amazing and what needs to be abandoned is the key to getting the best shot.   

Since the Rufio Creative days, have you found mentors?

I always loved the photography of David K Shields and Justin Edward John Smith. I now count myself lucky enough to have met and befriended both of them who taught me so much just by sharing their personalities with me. I also want to acknowledge that I’ve had many teachers who’ve helped me along the way - investing their time and energy into teaching me how the business works and strengthening my technicality. Right now though, I feel I’m on a personal creative journey to develop my own aesthetic and to challenge the conventions that still exist in the day-to-day dealings of the fashion industry. It’s about not being afraid of your own potential. 

 Who are your heroes?

All of the creatives who surround me. I think it takes real courage to chase your dreams. Collectively we all experience the highs and lows of being an artist. But there is something magical in seeing the product created by all of my friends. Their own belief in their work helps me to overcome the insecurities I feel in my own life. For those who need a list of heroes, they would be:

JUDY GARLAND
LIZA MINELLI
SHIRLEY MACLAINE
DOLLY PARTON
CHER
ARCADE FIRE
FIONA APPLE
WALT DISNEY

Everybody is beautiful. How do you feel when people criticise fashion photography’s almost exclusive use of a very slim figure?

Well you can look at the fashion industry from two points of view – I’m not going to say that fashion doesn’t create stereotypes. The industry expects models to be of a certain height and size in order to be functional coat hangers for the designer samples showcased – and a uniformity is presented in terms of sizing that ultimately can have a negative effect on how everyday people can perceive themselves. But to summarise this as representative of how fashion impacts society is short-sighted. The other reality is that it was the fashion industry that helped break barriers in many other ways – they showcased that beauty could be found in feminism (Coco Chanel introducing menswear into womenswear), ethnicity (Naomi Campbell), androgyny (Andrej Pejic), sexuality (50 % of the fashion industry). Often fashion was at the forefront of cultural movements of acceptance of people on the fringe of society.  Fashion has constantly celebrated and glorified those who were perceived as outcasts from everyday society and helped promote tolerance and expressionism – not just elitism.   

Who is your favorite Performance or Burlesque Artist?

Well my heart will always belong to you Rita Fontaine - but I guess if you were kidnapped by an alien spacecraft and taken to planet vixen then I would say I’m a big fan of Betty Grumble. I like the fact that she’s merged her visual performance so successfully with her political message. It’s like watching the perfect mash of horror meets pop culture and I think it’s wonderfully executed.

When are you going to shoot me for Australian Vogue in Cavalli?

Australian Vogue? Yeah right… we’re doing Italian Vogue all the way baby – and I’ve skinned Donatella alive so that you can have that one-off fabulous Versace gown you’ve always wanted. Oh the glamour!

Thankyou my darling, Thomas.

Readers can follow Thom’s work via his blog :

THE ADVENTURES OF RUFIO

thomkerr.blogspot.com

His new website will also be up soon :  www.thomkerr.com

Rita by Thom Kerr

 

Rita by Thom KerrRita by Thom KerrRita by Thom Kerr

 

Rita by Thom Kerr

 

The Burlesque Ball 2012 – Retrospection

I know, I know!

I promised an event by event write-up of the BB tour and I swear it, I tried! But WordPress was being a #%*@!  and kept jumbling everything as I posted it. Plus, unlike most of the crew who flew, Cassandra Jane and I took on the prop-drag  in the Brisbane to Sydney and then Sydney to Melbourne road trips – each trip a 13hr day. The giant spiderweb and the chandelier weren’t going to fit through QANTAS baggage; not even in Oversize.  It was a tough job…. and some Showgirls had to do it!  This insane, haul-ass, double-whammer drive had  me zombified …. so that’s my other excuse for not keeping you in the know as it happened on the tour.

Tough tits.

Now I will present a lovely, retrospective confabulation on the highlights of the happenings which have taken place during this last few weeks.

Brisbane – The Tivoli.

http://www.chaylataylor.com.au

SOLD OUT. This almost never happens at The Tiv. The forest-army of fine foliage that drummed up on the steps of the Tivoli was impressive. We all like a little city vs city competition and Sydney’s crowd had set a wager in presenting an outstanding lineup of Best Dressed on the first night. In Brisvegas we were confronted by squadrons of Steam Punks, legions of lilies, brigades of beasts and a cavalry of creativity. And some non-sensical wierd shit.
Lola and I are not used to being in the first act of any show, but when you’re with internationals like Tigger!, Melody Mangler, Imogen and Catherine D’lish … you kinda get that you’re not quite the headliner and performing in the first act is fine – just fine. The benefit of being done by intermission is that you can get your grubby mitts on the rider. So by the time it was Best dressed time.. we were a few champagnes in and decided that it would be fun to gate-crash the competition as our trashy alter egos, Reeda Fountainpen and Lola the Tramp. We love a little improv!  I took a plastic gun to a handsome contestant I recognised from highschool drama class and walked him off stage where Alyssa Kitt was waiting to help me dishevel him before releasing him back to the stage -  He still won!

The show had a few changes. Imogen now opened with her Flamingo show which begins with two flamingoes in love who start to snap and bite at each other. One bird takes off the other and the reveal of a left hand, then a right signals a spring into a hot pink flush of samba strip-tease.

Lola then performed her controversial oriental inspired Dragonfly dance. This had caused some blogosphere gaga regarding cultural appropriation. Lola performs this beautiful dance as a Cultural Appreciation and gives thanks to Chinese family members who gave her the giant paper umbrella that she dances with so lovingly. This umbrella is a family heirloom and is four or five generations old. Cultural appreciation is embedded strongly in Burlesque’s history. It is important to be mindful of other people’s feelings by steering clear of ‘yellow-face’ or ‘black-face’ makeup and other culturally offensive No-No’s. However, surely culturally diverse themes which are considered exotic, sexy, inspiring or as a gorgeous half-naked fantasy are being portrayed in a positive light? I often wonder if someone will take cultural offense to Johnny Castrati’s accent which fluctuates across Europe from French to Italian to Spanish to Queenslander to … well… let’s just say, JC’s been everywhere. My answer to this is that he is an International Lover, designed to tickle our ultimate fantasies and if you find him sexy, as everyone does and you think he is from a certain place in the world…. then you are simply projecting him into your own cultural fantasy. You wanton minx.

 

 

 

http://www.chaylataylor.com.au

 

 

 

 

 

Melbourne.
Naughty naughty. You Lushes of Libertine! You Devil-may-care Dandys! After Party madness!
The show? Without a hitch. The stage was graded. This means that it slopes downward toward the audience which made it hard to twirl in my epic dress. But it’s all ok everyone. I still managed to take it off. We had some stage kitten assistance from Foxtrot India and a Miss Rose.  Australian Burlesque Festival Director, Dolores Daiquiri even pitched in and help us run things smoothly. This was a point during the tour when the cast really got to know each other better. 

We got to know some of our fans better too in an unfettered frottage of an after party!  Rita went to bed and Johnny came out on the prowl. This was his first time in Melbourne and he was not disappointed thanks to a dance floor genesis of a whole new set of moves in an all out, no holds barred dance off with Patrick Walshe, Bar Manager of Melbourne’s illustrious Burlesque Bar. Master Walshe gave us a brief innuendo of his moves and moustachery during the best dressed competition, piquing Johnny’s interest and later ‘represented’ the Melbourne Burlesque Brat Pack of party promiscuous performers (pictured) : Liz Cahalan, Chrissie LyraBelle, Strawberry Siren, Honey B. Goode, Becky Lou, Luna Eclipse, Loren Matheson, Miss Jane Doe and Delores Daquiri. The wee hours of the morning soon had us shotting Tequila with Mark Winmill in a sneaky bar in Fitzroy where we waxed lyrical and sniffed Strawberry’s shoes.

Perth ….. easy. Easy peasy.

Perth produced a Russian Unicorn

Loving audience. Lovely Fremantle Venue. Fish and chips, fresh as anything. And by then we all knew our acts and cues so well that we breezed through the show. It was over so quick. This time Imogen crashed the competition. Totally nude. Ok, she had a flower in her hair. And a white fur stole. I think she felt that the Exotic Garden lacked the story of Eve. What a way to finish the tour. Afterwards  a festival of fan love fluffed our egos. A lot of ticket holders stayed back and thanked us for our show and for making it all the way to W.A. I briefly met the gentleman known as ‘The Naked Planker’.  A lady told me she’s been following my every move on FB for years, then became shy and asked “er.. is that kinda  wierd and  stalkerish?”  

 Nah… it’s cool.

I have had a great deal of positive feedback regarding my singing. This is fuel for the fire that is burning in my heart to produce and tour a solo Burly/Cabaret show. I am cooking it up slowly. It’s a good year away. But the plan of action is in place. I am going to give it everything I’ve got.  but for now, I’ll sign off -  it’s two am. but before I do, I’d like to thank the cast and crew for being such stellar creatures to work with. You’ve made so many of my dreams come true. To perform with such talent and to tour via such big stages is a dreaming in realisation and I am grateful for your part in making it happen with me. Our tech guys are the bomb. Our cast are divine love children of Artemis and Aphrodite getting it on Goddess-style on the Isle of Lesbos. I have learnt so much from each of you.  And a huge thanks to our promoters - workhorses who take on frightening feats of faith that if they put on a damn good show, the people will come – Jac and Cassandra. Balls of steel. Or should i say Mammaries of Steel?  Tough tits!

p.s. – check out the previous post -  the colour parade -  this saturday. it will be amazing.

 

Nobody’s Gonna Rain on the Colour Parade!

“Get ready for me love, ’cause I’m a “comer”
I simply gotta march, my heart’s a drummer
Don’t bring around the cloud to rain on my parade”  (Funny Girl)

Sydney Dwellers!      THE COLOUR PARADE IS ON THIS SATURDAY 19th, 2pm at Town Hall steps!

Bring signs, banners, instruments, connfetti and all of your friends for a fun and free party on the streets (well footpaths).

The parade will leave Town Hall around 2:30/ 2:45 and head down George St towards Martin Place and then into Pitt St, finishing at Hyde park.

What is the colour parade you ask? I did a little interview with one of the organisers,  local Performance and Visual artist Anto Christ

“The colour parade is an artistic statement that allows people to express themselves visually and having no boundaries or fear in doing so. It is a parade to celebrate creativity, self expression and freedom. It’s an opportunity to meet like minded characters and creatures.

From what seed of thought did it spring?
The colour parade was invented at The Aviary. ( a party/art house which was run in Newtown not long ago with an open door policy to the wierd and wonderful )
The collective mindframe in this house was that it doesn’t matter who you were,or what you looked like as long as you had an open mind and a good vibe, you were invited into the space to converse, share and grow. The colour parade is more of a public form of this mentality.We get the fact that if we do something positive in this world it will inspire more positivity and growth.

What has been the response?
Well theres all sorts of responses to the c.p.
The people who are apart of the parade express themselves in what ever craziness they want. People bring music makers, hoops, glitter, streamers, flowers, signs they have made. Not to mention the incredible outfits that are shown off. The public are always so shocked. Some people are confused, some are scared, some are inspired and even join us. What ever the response is theres definitely a response!

Has there been negative response?
When we first started the c.p there was alot of controversy as to why we were doing it and what it was about. But with something put out into the public like this theres always going to questioning which is good. I think after the first c.p people really experienced something magical and got what it was all about and came back to do it all again.

This feels like an all inclusive invite for inclusive performance art, are those who join the march aware that they are creating art… or simply just being happy?
I think some of the kids may not look at it like that but it all comes down to perception. By no means is the c.p exclusive to anyone. (you can even wear black) but its created to allow people who are beings that don’t consider themselves part of the norm and who dont look at themselves as strange for wanting to express themselves in this way. I think what we are doing collectively is Art. But thats just my perception. Some people may think that its just a bunch of people walking down the street. Which it is……

Like with The Zombie Walk, poeple are responding positively to this interactive event which is run, not for profit, but for the simple act of just having fun. -no door fees… what is it about this paradox that causes such a crowd to join you?

Well in life you dont need money to have a good time! I think alot of people know this and are happy to be a part of something that allows them to meet new people and share experiences.

i promise

to fill you in on all of the tour goss post sydney show. i kept trying but every time i pressed ‘publish’ wordpress would jumble it up on me!!! grrrrrrrr…   so much to tell!!!!